Hey Itchy Angry Rash,

Don’t you think it’s about time you left me? I kinda miss seeing my clear skin because you’ve taken that away from me long enough.

Oh, and eczema. Not a word I’ve heard in any of my doctor’s records in my entire life. Now it hits. In the twenty-fifth year of my life.

And while we’re at it: the bed bugs too. Not that I’m surprised that I got a filthy mattress from a landlord like Ventra. Let’s cross our fingers that the double-washing of my sheets at 90-degrees and spindry at high heat will cure that problem. Plus, the high-speed vacuum and hot iron over said damned mattress. Oh, and the deliciously furious complaint that I am prepared to verbalise/write/broadcast on Monday.

You see why I always say: It never rains; it pours.

Now that you’ve had your fun, would you kindly go gentle into the night?

Much appreciated,